THE CLOCK

YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS, ITS MIND BOGGLING INFORMATION.

You've never seen a clock like this one..........

Click Here


Thanks to Dave S. from Thermal Industries of Murrysville Pa. for this contribution.

SPEED TRAPS

SPEED TRAPS - NO JOKE...CHECK IT OUT!

I had no idea this was available to everyone.
Do you know the speed traps in your hometown?

Click Here

This is interesting. Click on whatever state /Province you want and then it will show the city or towns you want to view, click on which one you want to view.

But Remember its great to pass this around if you want to speed and not to mask
a DRUNK DRIVER,

Cashphat and friends DO NOT ENDORSE DRUNK DRIVING AND OR SPEEDING

Thanks to Terry S. R from Thermal Industries of Murrysville Pa. for this contribution.

Rude Shoe Salesman

The middle-aged wife had just returned to the house on Saturday
afternoon after a shopping trip. She was quite agitated, and
proceeded to tell her husband about a certain shoe salesman who
had been rude.

It seems she was sitting down while he helped her try on
various shoes, and happened to glance up and notice that she
was not wearing any knickers under her dress. Without even
thinking, he just blurted out, "If that thing was full of ice
cream, I'd eat every bite."

Well, she was understandably insulted, and now wanted to know
what her husband was going to do about it.

The husband just sat there, watching football on TV, and
grunted. The wife became hysterical, and insisted on knowing
why he didn't go down to the shop and punch the rude salesman
right in the nose.

"Well", the husband replied, "There are three reasons I won't
punch that guy in the nose. First of all, you shouldn't have
even been shopping for shoes, since you have a whole wardrobe
full of them. Secondly, you have no business going shopping
with no knickers on. But most of all, I'm not going to punch
anyone who's big enough to eat that much ice cream!"

The Italian's Trip to Canada

One day I go to Toronto and stay in a bigga hotel.

I go down to eat soma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna
two pissa toast. She bring me only one piss.

I tella her I wanna two piss; she say, go to toilet - I say,
you no understand, I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you
betta no piss on plate, you sonna ma b*tch! I don't even know
lady, she calla me somma ma b*tch.

Then I go to pharmacia with a cougha. The man he give me candy
ana tell me fa cough! - I don't even know man ana he tella me
FA COUGH!

Later I got to eat soma lunch at Ricky's Place, the waitress
she bring me spoon, a knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna
fock - She tell me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no
understand, I wanna fock on table. She say you betta not fock
on table you sonna ma b*tch - I not even know lady ana she call
me sonna ma b*tch.

So, I go back to my hotel room, an there's no sheet on my bed.
I calla the manager and tella him I wanna sheet, he tell me go
to toilet. So, I say, you no understand, I wanna sheet on bed.
He say you betta not sheet on bed you sonna ma b*tch. I don't
even know man ana he call me sonna ma b*tch!

I go to check out of hotel and man at desk say peace to you. I
say peace on you too!, you sonna ma b*tch! - I GO BACK TO
ITALY!!!

Two rednecks

Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road
drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.

The passenger, Bubba, said "lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a
poll-ice roadblock!! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these
here beers!!"

Don't worry, Bubba", Earl said. "We'll just pull over and
finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on
our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat".

"What fer?", asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?",
said Earl.

Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under
the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they
reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been
drinkin'?"

"No, sir", said Earl. "We're on the patch"!

The Center for Disease Control has issued

The Center for Disease Control has issued
a warning about a new Virulent strain of
Sexually Transmitted Disease.

The disease is contracted through dangerous
and high-risk behavior. The disease is called
"Gonorrhea Lectim," and is pronounced:
"gonna re-elect-em."

Many victims contracted the disease in 2008,
after having been screwed for the past two
years. Naturalists and epidemiologists are
amazed at how destructive this disease has
become, since it is easily cured ...
By simply voting out all incumbents!

NOW LET'S GET BUSY AND STAMP OUT THIS DREADFUL DISEASE !!!

Let me see if I got this right.....

* - IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.

* - IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

* - IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

* - IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.

* - IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

* - IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

* - IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

* - IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET................................

* 1 - A JOB,
* 2 - A DRIVERS LICENSE,
* 3 - SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
* 4 - WELFARE,
* 5 - FOOD STAMPS,
* 6 - CREDIT CARDS,
* 7 - SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
* 8 - FREE EDUCATION,
* 9 - FREE HEALTH CARE,
* 10 - A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON,
* 11 - TENS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE,
* 12 - AND THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY'S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH RESPECT.

....................................................................................
I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE, I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION...

Proposal by "City Counsil" for the Igloo (Civic Arena)

I think this is a great idea, Indoor/Outdoor Swimming Pool in the Arena itself.

What do you think?