What a Cat May be thinking?

Little Johnny gets teacher

Little Johnny is in school working on his arithmetic. The
teacher says, "Imagine there are 5 blackbirds sitting on a
fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many
blackbirds are left?"

Little Johnny thinks for a moment and says, "NONE!" The
teacher replies, "None, how do you figure that?" The little boy
says, if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared,
leaving none on the fence." The teacher replies, "Hmm, not
exactly, but I do like the way you think!"

The little Johnny then says, "Teacher, let me ask you a question.

There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream
cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the
third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the
women is married?"

The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally
replies, "Well, I guess the one sucking her cone."

To which the little Johnny replies, "Actually, its the one with
the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!"

Advanced Biology Class Exam

The last question on the test was:

'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk' worth 70 points or none at all.

One student, in particular, was hard up to think of seven advantages.

So he wrote:

1.) It is a perfect formula for the child.
2.) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3.) It is always the right temperature.
4.) It is inexpensive.
5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6.) It is always available as needed.

And then, the student was stuck Finally, in desperation, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote...

7.) It comes in 2 attractive containers.

Amazing Model Train Set

This is the world's biggest train set which covers 1,150 square
meters (12,380 square feet), features almost six miles of track and is still
not complete.

Twin brothers Frederick and Gerrit Braun, 41, began work on the
'Miniatur Wunderland' in 2000.

The set covers six regions including America , Switzerland ,
Scandinavia, Germany and the Austrian Alps

The American section features giant models of the Rocky Mountains, Everglades, Grand Canyon .......and Mount Rushmore .

The Scandinavian part has a 4ft. long passenger ship
floating in a 'fjord'.

It is expected to be finished in 2014, when the train set will cover more than 1, 800 square meters (19, 376 sq ft) and feature almost 13 miles of track, by which time detailed models of parts of France , Italy and the UK will have been added.

It comprises 700 trains with more than 10,000 carriages
and wagons.

The longest train is 46 ft long.

The scenery includes 900 signals, 2,800 buildings, 4,000 cars – many with illuminated headlights...

...and 160,000 individually designed figures.

Thousands of kilograms of steel and wood was used to construct the scenery...

The 250,000 lights are rigged up to a system which mimics night and day by automatically turning them on and off.

The whole system is controlled from a massive high-tech nerve center.

In total the set has taken 500,000 hours and more than 81/2 million to put together, the vast majority of which has come from ticket sales.

Gerrit said: "Our idea was to build a world that men, women, and children can be equally astonished and amazed in".

Frederik added: "Whether gambling in Las Vegas , hiking in the Alps or paddling in Norwegian fjords - in Wunderland everything is possible"..

The world's biggest model train set.

Medical Error

At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax.

One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained.

When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?"

"Well, I suppose," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."

Jesus is watching you?

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his
flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up
a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice
echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out,
and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his
head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then
clicked the light back on and began searching for more
valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could
disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is
watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking
for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the
room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you
say that?" He hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to
warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would
name a parrot Moses?"

The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people
that would name a Rottweiler "Jesus"!

2nd Amendment!