Second Opinion!

The doctor said, 'Harry, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.

You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.'

I was shocked and depressed. I wondered if I had anything to live for. I had no choice but to go under the knife. When I left the hospital, I was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but I felt like I was missing an important part of Myself. As I walked down the street, I realized that I felt like a different person. I could make a new beginning and live a new life.

I saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need... A new suit...'

I entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit..'

The elderly tailor eyed me briefly and said, 'Let's see... Size 44 long.'

I laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said.

I tried on the suit it fit perfectly.

As I, admired myself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?'

I thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.'

The salesman eyed me and said, 'Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.'

I was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?'

'Been in the business 60 years.'

I tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

I walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?'

I thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.'

The salesman said, 'Let's see... Size 36.

I laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.'

The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.'


New suit - $500
New shirt - $65
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS

Thanks to Terry S. from Murryville Pa. for this contribution

The Barber shop trip

A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.

She stands next to the barber chair while her dad gets his hair cut... eating a snack cake.

The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs, too."

Famous Turkey Recipe for Thanksgiving

This turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing ingredient -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when turkey is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out.
Give this a try.


8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good)
1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT IS BEST)
Salt/pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, and pepper.
Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan making sure the neck end is toward the front of the oven, not the back. exploding popcorn


After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds.


When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across the room,.... it's done.


Would love a photo if anyone tries this recipe!

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Guess The Ugly Celebrity Kid

Two martini's

Father O'Brian, a young priest, was sent to a very small church in the backwoods of Alaska. After a couple of years the Bishop decided to pay the priest a visit to see how he was doing.

Father O'Brian said "this is a very lonely job and I don't think that I could have made it this long without my Rosary and two martinis each day."

"What?!" Exclaimed the Bishop. "You've taken to drinking? What kind of example is that to set for the community? This doesn't reflect well on the church."

"But the loneliness, I just couldn't stand it. If it weren't for my Rosary and those two martinis a day, I would surely have gone insane."

The Bishop thought a moment, then said "I guess that is understandable considering..."

With that the priest said to the Bishop, "Would you like to have a martini with me?"

The Bishop said, "well, I really shouldn't but...Yes, that would be nice. I think I will, but just this once."

The priest turned around and hollered toward the kitchen, "Hey Rosary, would you fix us two martinis please?"

Single Black Female

This has to be one of the best singles ads ever printed. It is reported to have been listed in the Atlanta Journal.


SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me... Call (404) 875-6420 and ask for Annie, I'll be waiting.....




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Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Atlanta Humane Society.

Thanks to Terry S from Murrysville Pa. for this contribution

Pretty Cool Picture of a rainbow over London