Peaches

A farmer was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 30-something woman dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door. He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, "Would you like to buy some peaches?"

She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, "Are they as
firm as this?" He nodded his head and said, "Yes ma'am," and a little tear ran from one eye. Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, "Are they nice and pink like this?"

The farmer said, "Yes," and a tear came from the other eye.
Then she unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked,
"Are they as fuzzy as this?"

He again said, "Yes," and broke down crying. She asked, "Why
on earth are you crying?"

Drying his eyes he replied, "The drought got my corn, the flood got my soybeans, a tornado leveled my barn, I voted for Obama and now I think I'm gonna get screwed out of my peaches!"

Thanks to Larry R from Thermal Industries in Murrysville, Pa for this contribution

DeWalt Nail Gun-Must Have in every home in AMERICA

For everyone who would rather not have a gun in the house!

In view of the recent Supreme Court ruling, sales of this new product may skyrocket.

Washington thinks they are going to take away our guns, so check this out. I like it!

NAIL GUNS! AND, you don't even have to REGISTER them or have LICENSES for them!

AND, you don't have to worry about them being CONCEALED!

Just a LOT of good stuff to do with THIS!

Once in awhile something so totally cool comes out that even a guy who doesn't normally even know what he'd like for Father's Day would immediately ask for it.

New Nail Gun, made by DeWALT

It can drive a 16-D nail through a 2x4 at 200 yards.

This makes construction a breeze, you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence.

Just get your wife to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back, and relax and when she has the board in the right place, just fire away.

With the hundred round magazine, you can build the fence with a minimum of reloading. After a day of fence building with the new DeWalt Rapid fire nail gun, your wife will probably not ask you to build or fix anything else ever again.

Thanks to Dave S. from Thermal Industries in Murrysville Pa. for this contribution

Toothpick Art

Troy Palamalu getting pranked?

Note:
This could be fake, But brother-in-law Alex Holmes sitting on couch

California Love Story

A man was lying in bed with his new girlfriend.

After having great sex ...

She spent the next hour just rubbing his testicles ...

Something she just loved to do. As he was enjoying it,

he turned and asked her,

"Why do you love doing that?"

well because ... She Replied ....

"I Really Miss Mine"

Mexican Jews

Two old Jewish men, Sid and Al, are sitting in a Mexican
restaurant in Los Angeles.
One day Sid asks Al, "Do you know of any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico?"

Al replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."

When the waiter arrives, Al asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"

The waiter says, "I don't know, Senor, I ask the cook." He
returns from the kitchen a few minutes later and says, "No, Senor, the
cook say no Mexican Jews."

Al isn't satisfied and asks, "Are you absolutely sure?"

The waiter, realizing he is dealing with 'Gringos,' replies, "I
check once again, Senor."

While the waiter is away, Sid says, "I find it hard to believe
that there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.

The waiter returns and says, "Senor, the head cook say there is
no Mexican Jews."

Al asks, "Are you certain? I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews."

The exasperated waiter says, "Senor, I ask EVERYONE... All we
have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews and Tomato Jews.

Thanks to Larry R of Thermal Industries in Murrysville Pa. for this contribution

U.S.A Goverment Flowchart

Thanks to Terry S of Thermal Industries in Murrysville Pa. for this contribution