Top 5 reasons why computers must be male

5. They're heavily dependent on external tools and equipment.

4. They periodically cut you off right when you think you've established a network connection.

3. They'll usually do what you ask them to do, but they won't do more than they have to and they won't think of it on their own.

2. They're typically obsolete within five years and need to be traded in for a new model. Some users, however, feel they've already invested so much in the damn machine that they're compelled to remain with an underpowered system.

1. They get hot when you turn them on, and that's the only time you have their attention.

I knew I should of bought a WATCHDOG?

Prison gives pizzerias a record order

HUTCHINSON, Kan. (UPI) -- Two Pizza Huts in Kansas are working up a Super Bowl order of 941 pizzas and almost 10,000 chicken wings -- for a prison.

The Hutchinson Correctional Facility is holding the huge meal as a fundraiser for its Spiritual Life Center, selling slices to inmates, KWCH-TV, Wichita, reported. About 800 of the 2,000 prisoners ordered pizza or wings.

Hutchinson's Pizza Huts are used to orders up to 500 for Super Bowl Sunday but had to bring in corporate managers from Colorado for this one.

"It's definitely a record," said manager Jen Osner.

"They could have gone somewhere else but they are putting that money back into the community. That's awesome," she added.

Little Johnny's Aching Side

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially interested when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny what is the matter?"

Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

NO PARKING!!!!