Red Skeleton explains the Pledge of Allegiance

On January 14, 1969, I presented "The Little Old Man" as a teacher. The time was 1923. The students had finished reciting the Pledge of Allegiance which at the time I was but 10 years old. The old sage called the children together and said--
"Boys and girls, I have been listening to you recite the Pledge of Allegiance all semester and it appears that it has become monotonous to you or could it be you do not know the meaning of those words. If I may, I would like to recite the Pledge and give to you a definition of the words.

I----meaning me, an individual, a committee of one.
Pledge----dedicate all of my worldly goods to give without self pity.
Allegiance----my love and my devotion.
To the Flag----our standard, Old Glory, a symbol of freedom. Wherever she waves, there is respect because your loyalty has given her a dignity that shouts freedom is everybody's job.
Of the United----that means that we have all come together.
States----individual communities that have united into 48 great states. 48 individual communities with pride and dignity and purpose, all divided with imaginary boundaries, yet united to a common cause, and that's love of country.
Of America.
And to the Republic----a republic, a state in which sovereign power is invested in representatives chosen by the people to govern. And government is the people and it's from the people to the leaders, not from the leaders to the people.
For which it stands!
One nation----meaning, so blessed by God.
Indivisible----incapable of being divided.
With Liberty----which is freedom and the right of power to live one's life without threats or fear or any sort of retaliation.
And justice----The principle and quality of dealing fairly with others.
For all.----which means, boys and girls, it's as much your country as it is mine."

Since I was a small boy, two states have been added to our nation, and two words have been added to the Pledge of Allegiance "under God." Wouldn't it be a pity if someone said, "That's a prayer" and that would be eliminated from schools, too?

Words said by a Great American, R.I.P Red Skeleton

What a Library

Library located in Stockholm

Mom's know how

Thanks to Terry S from Murrysville Pa. for this contribution

I'll bet this was a surprise to NBC....

In a recent NBC Poll The question was asked.

Do you believe that the word God should stay in American culture?

NBC this morning had a poll on this question. They had the highest Number of responses that they have ever had for one of their polls, and the Percentage was the same as this:

86% to keep the words, IN God We Trust and God in the Pledge of Allegiance

14% against That is a pretty 'commanding'public response.

It is said that 86% of Americans believe the word "God" should stay.......

Therefore, I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a mess about having 'In God We Trust'on our money and having God in the Pledge of Allegiance.

Why is the world catering to this 14%?

Why not vote yourself? Vote here now,please

Thanks to Larry R from Washington Township Pa. for this contribution

The Crowded Store

It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store.

A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line...

"That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"

Talented 10 year old

She's 10 year old Adele Vasquez, her brothers play the instruments.
They're family (Vasquez) is from Mexico.

Happy Holidays from Cashphat and Friends

Joyeuses fêtes de Cashphat et amis

¡Felices Fiestas de Phat efectivo y Amigos

Veselé svátky od Peníze Phat a jeho přátelé

Καλές διακοπές από Phat Ταμειακά διαθέσιμα και Φίλων

Laethanta Saoire Happy ó Phat Airgid agus Cairde

Buone Feste da Phat Cash and Friends

現金ファットとフレンズからハッピーホリデー

现金柏和朋友们节日快乐

Счастливые дни с Phat Денежные средства и друзей

Happy Holidays från Cash Phat och Vänner

We will be making a conscious effort to wish everyone a
Merry Christmas this year ...
Our way of saying that we are celebrating the birth Of Jesus Christ.
So I am asking all our friends if you agree with us,
to please do the same.
And if you'll pass this on to your all your buddies, and so on...
maybe we can prevent one more United States tradition from being lost in the sea of "Political Correctness".

Thanks to Terry S from Murrysville Pa. for this contribution

Santa's Little Helpers

Time to exercise

Perfect Christmas gift for that Special Person

The Obama Urinal Cake Target
Order yours now only $1.99 each, comes in White, yellow
and festive red.

Order 2 and get 1 free, free shipping on orders of $15.00

Show your support as well, with each order a portion of your order
will go to the Republican Party for their effort to restore the Presidency of the United States of America to normalcy and send the lunatics in the White House packing.

Call to order: 1-555-peeonBO

In Cahoots

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have never been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

And more and more I think of the Here After. Several times a day, in fact, I enter a room and think “What am I here after?”

Sound familiar????? Join the Club!

Thanks to Larry R from Washington Township Pa. for this contribution

Supreme Court Ruling

Supreme Court Rules No Nativity Scene in DC

Date: Tuesday, 29 Nov 2011

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States' Capital this Christmas season.

This isn't for any religious reason.

They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capitol.

The search for a Virgin continues.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable!

Thanks to Larry R from Washington Township for this contribution

Miss Kentucky speaks to the audience!

---

Note: This is the new Miss Kentucky
.
The picture that will stay with her for the rest of her life:

Make-up and hair style ................... $500
New dress for the show ...................$700
Giant stuffed bear ............................ $300

Not knowing how to hold the bear with a microphone in her hand......Priceless!

Thanks to Terry S. from Murrysville Pa. for this contribution

It all began with an iPhone...

March was when our son celebrated his 17th birthday, and we got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn't?

I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad.

Our daughter's birthday was in August so we got her an iPod Touch.

My wife celebrated her birthday in September so I got her an iRon.

It was around then that the fight started...
What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network with the iWash, iCook and iClean.
This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.
I should be out of the hospital next week!!

Thanks to Terry S from Murrysville Pa. for this contribution

Things you don't see everyday

Design Flaws?

Lisa Simpsom apparently all grown up?

Too hot, too cold?

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.

"Oh, I really don't care or mind," said the waiter with a smile. "We don't even have an air conditioner."

Luck of the Drunkish

The Chinese Dinner

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the "Chicken Surprise". The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

"Good grief, did you see that?" she asks her husband.

He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

"Please sir," says the waiter, "what you order?"

The husband replies, "Chicken Surprise."

Ah... so sorry," says the waiter, "I bring you Peeking Duck"

What???

Watch when taking pictures?

This design has to be a woman's

Who said Man didn't evolve from a primate?

Cat(fish)?

What color was your toothbrush?

Bidding Higher

One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.

Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!"

"Don't worry." said the Auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"

Service Confusion

I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:

Internal Revenue 'Service'
U.S. Postal 'Service'
Telephone 'Service'
Cable TV 'Service'
Civil 'Service'
State, City, County & Public 'Service'
Customer 'Service'

This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows. BAM!!!

It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

You are now as enlightened as I am!

Thanks to Larry R from Washington Township Pa. for this contribution

Senior Wedding

Jacob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, living in Fort Myers, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:

"Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course, we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about suppositories?"

Pharmacist: "You bet!"

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer's?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes forParkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?"

Pharmacist: "We sure do.."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "Adult diapers?"

Pharmacist: "Sure."

Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry."

Thanks to Terry S from Murrysville Pa. for this contribution

The Ice Cream Parlor

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor, crawled painfully onto a stool, and ordered a banana split.

Seconds later the old man moaned again as he tried to get comfortable

The waitress asked, "crushed nuts?"

"No" he replied, "it's just arthritis.

Creepy Natural Ice Formation

Guess The Celebrity Fatty!

Understanding Flies

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."