MY PRIVATE PART DIED

An old man, Mr. Peabody, was living in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad

Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong.

'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Peabody.

'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'

Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry Mr. Peabody. Please accept my condolences.'

The following day, Mr. Peabody was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas.

He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Peabody' she said, 'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.'

'But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Peabody. 'I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.'

'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy , 'you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?'


'Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'

Huge Anaconda

Trade vs. Generic?

All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen.

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix,
and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer..

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.


This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Hockey fight in Russia

What's this kids thinking???

I don't want welfare?

A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said,

"Hi. You know.... I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2010 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."

Thanks to Terry S from Thermal Industries of Murrysville Pa. for this contribution